Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
