this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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