He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
