After last night, I could never be a politician.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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