I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was CRYING into my vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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