Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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