You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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