is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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