No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
