What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
