I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize