All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
