grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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