I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
