somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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