remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
