My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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