didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
