We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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