She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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