It's like God shit irony all over that family
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
