the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
