Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
