I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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