This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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