I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
