If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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