I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
