Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
