i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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