Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
