A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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