you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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