If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
