i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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