They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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