whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
