i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
