You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
