Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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