all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
