I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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