i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
