I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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