Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
