Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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