Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
