seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
