i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
