Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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