So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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