we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I forget how to act sober
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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