you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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