A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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