He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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