If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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