good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
