That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
