they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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