i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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